


Qonfession

by Sarita1046



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Confusion, Dubious Morality, Existential Angst, Experimentation, F/F, F/M, Fantasizing, Genderfluid, M/M, Multi, Power Play, Speculation, Telepathy, Wishful Thinking, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-17 00:09:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10582341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarita1046/pseuds/Sarita1046
Summary: A little reflection on why Vash may have chosen to leave her partnership with Q and where Captain Picard fits in (takes place between "Q-pid" and "Tapestry")





	1. Qonfession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical inspiration: "Cassandra's Waltz" by Murray Gold

Vash had to admit – this whole turn of events provided an immense rush. After half a lifetime of thrill seeking through travel and study of ancient life forms, she now had the capacity to see it all firsthand. Anything she wanted, at any time period in the past, present or future.

Thanks to the creature at her side. 

Of course, she would have been irrevocably skeptical, had it not been for Jean-Luc’s testament to the incredible abilities of the Q. Going on two years and already he had prevented disaster befalling her on more than one occasion. For the first time, she almost felt as though the cosmos were truly at her disposal. 

There was still Jean-Luc, of course, the only person from her past she found herself still missing. She'd felt just the hint of remorse in leaving him there on that ship. After all, he had definitely proven beyond a doubt that he’d cared for her. 

Then again, he’d also mentioned Q’s odd little fascination with tormenting him. As a scientist, Vash had to wonder herself why an entity such as Q would spend so much time focusing so much on even one species in particular, let alone a _single_ specimen of said species – Jean-Luc and those aboard his ship.

Vash supposed it might truly be out of fear, as Jean-Luc had presumed. Concern that humanity might rise to match or even overtake the Q one day, should human evolution remain unchecked. The Enterprise allowed its crew to venture where no man had gone before, to see what no human had laid eyes upon…

And now she had the opportunity to traverse all quadrants of the galaxy and beyond. A year had passed without much incident. Normally, Q respected her space and let her go about her little rendezvous alone once they reached a planet or nebula she wished to explore. He always provided the necessary breathable atmosphere and temperature for her to explore safely. What’s more, he never tried any funny business with her, as a humanoid male likely would have. After some time, she'd even found herself opening up a bit about her previous life on earth - absent father and conniving mother. She hadn't seen or heard from her older brother since he'd allegedly landed in prison for smuggling light weapons on the moon of some planet in the Alpha Quadrant...

Somehow she found it easier to speak with someone who seemed so - _separate_ from it all. Not even Jean-Luc knew much about her family. 

Perhaps all of this had made her finally begin to really question what it was he truly got out of this arrangement. What it simply an ego boost? Did he truly care about what a human thought – whether she was impressed or not by his seemingly endless knowledge of every faction of the universe they visited?

Or was it something else entirely? Stalling for time, keeping her away from something? But why and away from what? Most importantly, how long would he allow it to continue for?

Oh well, may as well take advantage of it. She was starting to miss Jean-Luc though, and it didn’t help that it had been nearly two years since her last truly physical contact with someone. Most pressing, however, was the damper Q's presence would put on Vash's ability to charm dealers and bidders on any system they visited. She'd definitely come to favor the times when he'd simply drop her off rather than sticking around to see how she managed. Because frankly, Q was fairly well known and not in a good way. His snickering over her shoulder as she tried to trade a medallion on Brax for thrice its purchasing price had distracted the would-be buyer until he'd recognized Q's face from his apparent previous appearances on their planet for centuries: The Braxian God of Lies.

Most inconveniently, his very presence on Errikang VII had her deemed the 'devil's consort' and nearly thrown off a cliffside into a lake of boiling geysers. He'd intervened of course, but still...and that had only been their first trip. She found herself wondering more often lately if the instantaneous transportation he offered was truly worth the hassle of him popping up around species who hated him and, by extension, hated her. 

 

Q could feel his companion's restlessness - maybe it was time he found a man for her. Perhaps on Risa...

He rather despised his conflicted disposition. Part of him thrived off of mesmerizing this woman, as he had with myriad different species throughout the eons. Her thirst for knowledge and genuine interest in different cultures were admirable. On top of that came the reward of revisiting all the wonders of the galaxies through the eyes of someone who found it all so exhilarating - so _new_. 

It helped immensely to stave off the boredom...no, the creeping _panic_ that often began seeping in once he caught himself growing truly weary of existence. Avoiding downtime was the only solution. Surely, it was better than spreading morbidity about the very nature of their immortality, as that 'philosopher' had begun to do throughout the Continuum, even after being locked away. No...Vash had provided Q the chance to view everything from the perspective of one of the more curious human personalities he'd yet encountered. 

Then again, such appreciation was often clouded by her overbearing greed for something so materialistic as profit...not to mention the knowledge of her past associations. 

_Jean-Luc_.

They’d been together. For some reason, despite the captain's constant berating of Q's alleged amorality, Vash somehow got a free pass. She was able to break down his barriers in a way Q had never been able to – in a manner which the captain seemed determined Q never could. How could the stalwart, highly intelligent captain he'd come to know surrender so easily to a fellow human? Vash – the human who now accompanied Q everywhere – had had Picard wrapped around her finger, while she’d spent time wrapped around…

Q caught his train of thought when he sensed Vash’s readiness to return. 

“This nebula’s getting a little dull,” she complained as he flashed her back beside him on his side of the cloud, “It’s so _quiet_.”

“You’d prefer a little more noise?” ventured Q, his dark eyes glittering. 

“Just…something with a bit more energy.” Vash decided.

“Ever been to Risa?” he asked. He’d given up the temptation to read her mind long ago, not wanting to be bothered with the possible jealousy her memories might stir up.

He hated weakness. So long as he kept her occupied in the present and away from the captain. 

“The pleasure planet?” Vash’s blue eyes lit up like quartz crystals, more in curiosity than excitement. “Once...with Jean-Luc…but wouldn't say no to a second trip.”

The hint of a smile played on Q’s full lips. She wanted a distraction and he was quite curious upon hearing that the ever-stoic Picard had ventured to a hedon planet, so truly - why not?

 

The primary change Vash noted from the nebula they’d just visited was the air – rather than dry and crisp, it was warm and humid. Palm fronds swayed in a gentle breeze as she sat beside Q at the lip of a sandy beach, the white surface disappearing into the transluscent, sapphire blue water. 

Overhead, the sun had almost set, bathing the twin moons in a beige hue. The sky was gradually turning from a soft gold to a light violet.

“So what do you think?” Q asked nonchalantly, staring out at the vast expanse in his trade mark pose with legs drawn up and one arm over his knees.

“Is it supposed to be this…desolate? Last time was a trifle more crowded.”

“Take a moment to appreciate the waves, my dear,” Q chided gently, “If you listen carefully, you can even hear the people back there.”

He gestured slightly with his chin toward the small settlement behind them, and she supposed he’d arranged this little peaceful spot all their own by the seashore. She decided the thundering waves were a step up from the utter silence of the nebula. 

“Reminds me of Earth,” Vash remarked softly.

“You miss it?” Q spared her a side-glance.

“So many humans still consider it home, but…I learned all there was to know about its cultures and societies very early on.”

Vash had to marvel at how they were both back in their explorer’s outfits, minus the caps. The clothes always stayed so clean. She could have really used the advantage of Q’s abilities before now. 

Her fascination wasn’t lost on Q. Though he’d gotten a far stronger thrill out of the lengthy pause from Jean-Luc following Q’s initial proposal to take him exploring on Tagus III. The tension as the captain surveyed the entity's change of attire upon spreading out on his couch had been simply _riveting_ …

“And the Enterprise?” Q broke the pause. “Do you suppose they’ll ever find what they’re looking for?”

“Who knows what they’re even looking for,” Vash replied with a smirk, “Jean-Luc is nearly insatiable when it comes to most things. Exploration shouldn’t be any different.”

Q suddenly felt the need to swallow in this form. The way she said 'insatiable' made his mouth feel dry, his face hot. He knew the waters on Risa to hold some sort of aphrodisiac, yet it shouldn’t affect him, even in this state - and he wasn’t even touching the water…though Vash was. 

Vash didn’t notice how the omnipotent being’s gaze followed the swaying of her hand in the warm ripples of the sea. Her fingers blurred beneath the tepid liquid, and Q found himself wondering how softly they had caressed the captain when…

But enough was enough. Now to get her mind off the captain. Time to find her a man - 

Q was torn from his reverie by Vash’s soft sigh, and almost felt genuine surprise when she withdrew her hand from the water and buried it in his dark locks, forcing her lips upon his own.

It was in that moment that Q made his decision. Simply because the captain was currently out of reach on the willing scale did not mean he couldn’t take the next best thing – which right now was Vash. Q nearly shivered at the chance to feel where Jean-Luc had last been. Normally insistent that such sordid activities were beneath someone of his own prowess – Q settled on the justification that this was simply a way to have some fun. To pass the time until he could get what he truly wanted…

The next thought Q allowed himself was how aggressive Vash was – and he wasn’t complaining. She’d already removed her own vest and now seemed to be struggling to both tear off her undershirt and remove his vest all at once. 

Easy solution. Leaving her clothed so she could progress at her own pace, Q made matters simpler for her by flashing his clothes away. 

“Better?” Q asked with that mischievous smolder.

Vash’s body was singing as she shot forward again to recapture Q's mouth. Her nerves felt so hot, just begging for release. Vaguely, she reasoned there must be something in the sand or water, but she supposed that wasn’t so unusual for a sex planet…and she'd never actually touched the ocean water during her previous visit.

It did wonders to glorify her travel partner, however. Though she’d always idly noticed his objectively attractive human appearance, this was a whole other level. Everything about Q up till now struck her as irresistibly erotic – from his naughty smirk, to his hairless skin to his decidedly _inhuman_ way of moving, fluctuating between catlike grace and sudden overbearing posture, akin to a cobra strike. 

She nibbled distractedly at his lower lip.

Yes, he looked like a man. He looked and felt human - but he wasn’t. This - being - was a primordial creature with unimaginable power. It was unbelievably _hot_.

“Tell me,” she managed breathlessly, pulling back, “Just how many forms can you take?” How had she never thought to ask him this before? 

“Any form I wish,” Q replied, a tad relieved that she’d tired of kissing him for the moment. It truly was an odd human practice. So very wet. “Something you'd like to see? A microbial flea, perhaps? Though they’re fairly small…”

“Your true form,” Vash cut in.

“That’s not really something you can _see_ ,” Q admitted. “It’s more of a force. Energy - to a life form such as yours.”

The human woman tried not to let on how incredibly appealing of a concept that was…

“Right. Let’s stick with humanoid,” Vash’s arousal seemed to be growing, “How about…a woman? A human woman?”

Q quirked a brow. “Curious, are we?” Picard likely would have been taken aback.

“Well…I’ve always been busy on expeditions and women can be…a challenge.”

“Well now I understand your enthusiasm to see the star dancers of Mundahla. Beauty is beauty. Gender is such a distracting non sequitur among your level of species,” Q relented, his form morphing into a lithe female with long jet-black waves, cinnamon skin and green eyes that reflected the now bright moonlight. “Much easier to simply forgo the matter altogether. It's true, however... _humans_ can be quite the challenge.”

Barely aware of that quip at her species, Vash felt a tingle at her center when she heard the female Q’s husky, feminine lilt. He was flamboyant and almost attractively effeminate as a man, certainly, but…this dimorphism was exceptional. And this female form was much closer to Vash's size...

"How...did you choose to look like this specifically?" Vash asked. 

Q smiled slightly. "It's an appearance that has worked particularly well when coaxing members of many different matriarchal humanoid species to do certain things I asked.

Somehow just now, Vash couldn't be bothered to ponder further on what those things were. 

"Is it...is this still you?" Vash's words were barely above a whisper. "Or some sort of illusion?"

"It's most certainly me. Feel for yourself," coaxed the exotic beauty before her.

Q allowed Vash to explore his female form’s petite, supple breasts, though he had to admit it gave him little pleasure. All he could really think of was how the captain may have responded had Q appeared in this form from their first meeting…

Yet Q was most comfortable in his masculine form while human. Why wasn’t Jean-Luc accepting of that? Wasn't he still the same being with the same amount of knowledge and power to keep Picard's human crew safe?

Just as Vash's lowered her mouth toward Q's center, this bitter thought inspired the entity to return Vash’s touches harshly, groping the other woman’s backside and removing her undershirt. Suddenly, it seemed unfair that Vash was the one wearing more clothes. She shouldn’t get to be in control of everyone all the time…

Two could play at this game.

When Q had Vash down to her underwear, the entity took the plunge. Still in female form, the creature ripped off the human’s panties wth unnerving strength and drove two fingers deep inside without warning.

Vash cried out. Wet and hot, much like her lips, Q mused, gripping the human by her hair with a free hand. Humans had so many fluids, it was truly astonishing, if in a gauche manner. And yet, Jean-Luc had been where Q was now…

That was when the creature above Vash changed form all at once. If the human noticed, she gave no sign for a while and simply continued writhing against his fingers as he maneuvered carefully behind her and lay her against his front. 

Burying his face in her hair, Q had to relish her natural scent. She was alluring on her own, he would admit.

Inspired by a particularly rough sigh from Vash, Q allowed his energy to disperse ever so slightly and caress her neck, her breasts and her belly, culminating at the insides of her thighs. The effect his power had on her alone was enough to arouse this human form of his. It truly was all about the ego boost...and why not? What good was having the power of the Continuum if not to show it off to lower beings? To share it...

Meanwhile, Vash's throaty whimpers had grown into loud moans until she finally convulsed around Q's fingers.

Soon after, the human must have felt the evidence of his interest against her spine, because she turned to face the entity behind her, grinning upon seeing his familiar presence. He was intrigued by the flash of hesitation in her eyes as her gaze flitted down and back up. “Good,” she panted, her blue eyes alight, hips stilling astride his hand, “You’re back. I want you – _all_ of you.”

“Thought you’d never ask,” came Q’s silky lilt as he withdrew his fingers and prepared to climb over her. Though he still felt fairly reluctant to engage in such an act...

Fortunately, Vash had different ideas as well.

With a fervor no doubt driven by the aphrodisiac, she shoved Q backward and climbed atop him. “Best artifact I’ve ever uncovered,” she breathed with an appreciative glance over his body that rested on his eyes. He barely had time to grin back as she kissed a flurry down his abdomen and took him in her mouth.

Well, this was... _different_. Q couldn’t say it felt unpleasant – nor that he didn’t get off on being exoticized. But he had never viewed this human as physically appealing of entirely her own accord. Not beyond her connection to…

And there it was. Vash was pretty busy at the moment, leaving Q ample opportunity to close his eyes and enter her mind for the first time. Sure enough, he found at the forefront flashes of times she'd done the very same to the captain. The pleasure on Jean-Luc’s face. The rich sighs. They were even better than his fantasies. Those lips, this tongue, had tasted the soft, intimate flesh of the captain.

It wasn't the physical aspect of this interaction. Indeed, the triumphant high of having Jean-Luc finally surrender so completely was what Q realized he'd been seeking.

Vash was lost in her own activities and the unseen pleasure that treasured her, barely noticing how their two forms now levitated centimeters above the ground, as if suspended by an invisible force field. In his quest, Q became intuned to every atom of her being, every molecule of water that had seeped into their pores from the incoming ocean tide. His view into her memories plunged deeper still, to a firsthand experience of how the captain tasted...just how might he taste on Q's lips? Or the other way around?

There was something else, too...apparently, although Vash had allowed the captain to enter her, this wasn't a frequent occurrence. So it appeared she truly did desire women more. She must have been truly taken with Jean-Luc. It seemed that pleasuring men was typically a way for her to get something she wanted from the situation - usually money or a valuable artifact. And attention. Yet another common attribute they shared.

Another sensation washed over Q. This memory was salty...and tingly.

Q shivered violently, burying his hand firmly in the hair of the human before him. This form was truly slave to the most base of human urges when expressing the desires of his essence. And yet...sharing toys with his pet human was almost enough to leave even _him_ with no words. Though the captain was more than a pet, really – Q had to admit it…more like his fascination. A guilty pleasure.

Seeping deeper into her consciousness, Q's hands joined the phantom lips to caress her breasts, eliciting another memory of Jean-Luc's mouth between her legs. Hot, silky and so _soft_...

Had he truly sunk so low? The envy he held for this creature above him - as low as it was - almost frightened him. That he was driven to satisfy this unprecedented need with fantasy and the memories of a lesser being.

Sharing pleasure vices with his Jean-Luc. His intelligent, guarded, determined, relentless captain. The only mortal who understood the gravity of challenging a Q, and still did so without abandon. Vash came close, but the captain would be his downfall. Q bit his lip. The challenge of it all was _intoxicating_. The field around them pulsated with a shockwave that made Vash tremble visibly, the invisible touches still worshipping her body as she worshipped his. His power high had reached a monumental peak.

That was when he was struck by the most vivid memory yet - the feeling of the captain inside...

“ _Jean-Luc_ ,” Q rasped and bucked slightly upward. 

This simple utterance symbolized not only his wretched longing for the human captain, but his own terror at acquiescing to the despair of ennui. Ever since his time as a human, these mortal feelings hadn't ceased to haunt him...and now, he truly had sunk so low that he now took pleasure in physical gratification. And yet, the admission provided such relief that Q barely cared anymore whose company he kept.

Though he was alone on that front, it seemed. Despite his hands still tangled in her hair, the warm, moist sensation pulled off abruptly and Q sat up a bit, opening his eyes in earnest. As they fell the short distance back to the sand below, Q was met with a gaze of blue fire. 

“ _What_ did you just say?”


	2. Qaught

“Now now, let’s not be too hasty,” Q urged as he trailed after a Vash who was struggling to put back n her wet clothes while she stumbled away from him. 

Careful to avoid the water, Vash pulled her hair out from beneath her collar and started to speed walk as Q caught up and took her elbow.

“Don’t touch me!” she barked without looking him in the eye.

“I sincerely don’t understand what’s gotten into you…” he started.

Now she turned to face him and he stopped abruptly. “Really? So fantasizing about a man we both know while you’re with me –“

“That was hardly intentional,” Q insisted, rather rapidly, “As you admit, he’s a mutual friend and your thoughts and memories were practically screaming while you were with me. If anything, _I_ should be the one who’s offended.”

“You – you read my _mind_?” Vash’s eyes were huge. “You were looking at my memories of…”

She stopped and allowed herself a moment to breathe, turning away. She couldn’t throw up…not in front of him. 

For the first time since he’d come into her life, Q remained silent. The crashing waves suddenly sounded deafening in the dark of the night. 

“So all of this…our travels. Everything. Was to keep me away from Jean-Luc.” Q didn’t like how she stated it as if it were fact. 

“Not exactly,” Q admitted softly, “You said it yourself, the two of you never saw eye-to-eye when it comes lifestyle. But I admire your audacity. That’s all you.”

“So you work some kind of alien magic on me?”

“No, dear,” Q smirked gently, “You have only the water to thank for that…even so, such bio enhancers simply bring forth feelings which were already present. For it to have any effect, you had to have harbored at least an inkling of erotic intrigue for me.”

Oh, please. Curiosity, sure, but that hardly made her jump people’s bones.

“I’ve had enough. I want to leave.”

“Leave?” Q mused. “You can’t mean it. We’ve barely just begun exploring. No way your curiosity is slaked already.”

“Then read my mind, if you must. You seem to have quite the knack for it!”

Q had had just about enough. This little biped would not leave him. He did the leaving, not the other way around. Not that he ever truly tired of the groveling of reverent mortals…

“Rather like your own knack for stealing what doesn’t belong to you,” he stated, voice suddenly icy. 

Vash stopped in her tracks. “You can’t mean Jean-Luc…”

“Hardly,” Q retorted, “More like the most precious relic of the Miridon culture. You’ve avoided their clutches for quite a while now, haven’t you? Theirs was one of the first planets we embarked to.”

“The crown is gone,” Vash shot back as she continued to shamble through the now dry sand. "Sold to a Braxian merchant before you turned up skulking around."

Behind her, Q didn’t budge.

“Poor little human. So used to getting your way…to getting away with everything.”

A half second later, two bright flashes graced the shore, leaving the beach empty in their wake. 

 

The next sensation Vash registered was a loud boom, followed by shrill cries that sounded like battle calls. 

Then she was rushed by a mob of what looked like soldiers. One of the warriors barked something in a language she didn’t understand and sprayed her in the face with a vapor that stung her eyes. Coughing viscously, Vash soon lost balance as the world went dark.

Seemingly moments later, the human was shocked back to her body by ice cold liquid pouring over her face and nude form. After catching her breath from the temperature shock, Vash’s first instinct was to call out to Q.

No. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Besides, he was likely responsible for this mess. Still, she glanced around quickly to get a better sense of her surroundings. 

Wrapping her arms around her body and crouching slightly to cover herself as best as possible, Vash just registered a slight tingle where rivulets of the liquid ran over her skin. 

Glancing at her hands for the first time, she noticed they were deathly pale and seemed to be turning ashen grey. 

That did it. Enough was enough. “Q!” she called, “Q! I’ve had it! Do you hear me? You take me back right now! Show yourself!”

Vash was answered with another deluge of the abrasive liquid. Sputtering, she ran to the edge of the space that held her, now realizing that she was surrounded on all sides by translucent polymer. 

As if on cue, a panel on the side opened and a – Miridon male jerked her out by her arm. So that’s why the soldiers had looked familiar. She’d recognize those leathery, mauve faces anywhere. Q must have left her on Miridon – the _bastard_. 

Belting something in his language, the Miridon – who looked to be dressed as a lab worker – wrapped some sort of device around her throat. 

Raising her hands, Vash’s first thought was to rip it off before she noticed that the scientist was also wearing one. 

“It _is_ you!” growled the Miridon before her. “Where have you hidden the Crown?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Vash was relieved she’d managed not to stammer. Despite being naked, she was still shivering from the cold water. “How can we understand each other?”

“Do not change the subject,” he snapped, “The arrogance! Feigning ignorance not only to the theft of the Crown, but to your own technology! The _conceit_ of you humans…”

Universal Translator.

“You have one last chance,” the scientist hissed in her face, revealing beige pointed teeth, “We’ve searched your person and know you don’t currently have the Crown in your possession. Admit to stealing the Crown in the first place, and your death will be swift. Keep up this façade and the suffering will be slow.”

Vash only pursed her lips together, never breaking his gaze. When he shook her by the shoulders, Vash lashed out instinctively and spat in his face. 

Her heart began hammering in her chest as soon as the action was done. She’d no clue what to expect now. Wiping his face on his sleeve, the Miridon’s burning gaze never left hers as he pulled a communicator from his belt and spoke into it in an eerily calm tone.

“This is Nar reporting from the laboratory. We’ve found the human thief of the Crown of the First Mother. She has been purified to leave quarantine and is ready for transport to Yatra Prison.”


	3. Qaged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical inspiration: "Ancestors" by Richard Wells and "You've Got Time" by Regina Spektor

Jean-Luc was floating in that blissful haze that came right at the precipice of actual sleep. The soothing whir of the ship’s engines was lulling him in, and he couldn’t remember the drone having ever been so audible from his quarters.

Then he subtly remembered how he’d never actually made it back to his quarters. Opening heavy eyelids ever so slightly, he went to pull himself into a sitting position – and was met with a warm hand on his shoulder.

“You’re tired, Jean-Luc. You need sleep. Rest now.”

Picard blinked. “Vash?”

Sure enough, the beautiful adventuresome woman was leaning against the railing, smiling down on him as he looked up from his chair.

“You looked so at peace,” she mused quietly, “Don’t let me disturb you. I’m just here to watch over you.”

Something wasn’t right. “Where’s Q? Why are you here now and alone…”

“Let’s not talk about him,” Vash quipped, drawing closer to stroke Picard’s cheek with a feather-light touch of her thumb.

Jean-Luc was torn between desire and the pull of sleep. A part of his mind urged that this must be a dream, but the logical half knew it wasn’t. The familiar draft of the ready room felt brisk on his skin, too clear for a dream.

“Seeing as you’re rather awake now, though,” Vash continued slowly, “I want you to be honest with me. What is it you want?”

“Want?”

“Yes,” her eyes gleamed in the light of the console, her angular face framed by the stars that shimmered in the endless void outside the large windows. “From me.”

“I…” Picard simply didn’t trust this situation, and his sense of reason kicked in. “You couldn’t have gotten here on your own. And this room is never empty. Tell me what’s going on.”

Vash’s eyes flashed with an emotion the captain couldn’t fathom, quickly returning to their lucid gaze as she closed the distance between them and sat on his left thigh.

“All right, I’ll tell you straight. I’ve been naughty, Captain.”

“Vash, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mock me,” Picard replied, reminded of how she’d stood up to his authority when he’d tried to order her away upon their first meeting. “This is not Risa. This is my ship.”

“Always so in control,” Vash chortled, “Perhaps I should take a page from your book.”

Vash let her fingers which were idly playing with his earlobe sidle down the side of his throat to rest upon his shoulder.

“Vash…” Jean-Luc began.

Instantly, the other hand came up as she rested a finger to his lips, silencing him.

“Captain,” she truly was insistent on his title tonight, “You recall the story of Othello?”

“Mm. I’d never known you to be interested in literature. Where’s the adventure if you’re not living it firsthand?”

“Now who mocks whom?” Her grammar was impeccable tonight as well. Time out in the wonders of the universe must be taking their toll. Still, something nudged at his consciousness…something was amiss. Better get to the bottom of this…

“Forgive me,” Jean-Luc humored the woman on his knee, “You were saying – Othello. Othello and Desdemona, the classic tragedy of two lovers being driven apart by jealousy.”

“Hm, yes,” Vash nodded, “But not of their own accord.” She leaned down toward his face, her nose mere centimeters from his. “There was another involved.”

“Indeed,” Picard managed after swallowing, keeping his gaze focused on the burning blue, “Cassio.”

“Perhaps,” she relented, sitting up a bit, “and Cassio was simply an overachiever who was oblivious to the whole thing – to Iago’s jealousy.”

“Iago’s jealousy over Othello granting Cassio the military promotion…”

“Yes, there was that element,” Vash was now trailing her fingers down his chest, his abdomen…”But then why involve Desdemona? What had she to do with any of it?”

Picard felt another urge to swallow as Vash’s touch fell upon the area between her hip and his thigh. It had been long enough, and he was ashamedly certain that the evidence was present.

Better to save face and play along for now. He didn’t want her – and if he was honest, he was fairly convinced it wasn’t actually her - having the upper hand here. This ship – and Shakespeare for that matter - was _his_ territory.

“Poor woman was caught up in the consequences of a madman’s tantrum.”

“Wanting to be appreciated, to be valued for what he was,” ice entering her voice as she began to stroke him, “Is that a tantrum? You…men are all truly alike. Slaves to your bodies. At least Desdemona had scruples. I’m just a mischievous little girl who refuses to grow up and be the woman you treat me as. Does such a person truly deserve your worship?”

She gripped his now aching arousal in a hold that would have hurt under any other circumstances. “Is that the type of hypocrite you are, mon Capitaine?”

The first realization that struck Jean-Luc as he bolted upright to forcibly remove the creature from his lap was how he had known who it was from the beginning. The speech, the mannerisms, the utter disregard for personal space – and yet, he’d been rock hard for nearly that entire time.

“And why not?” asked the Vash look-a-like in a mocking tone that sounded somehow fitting in that strong, feminine voice, “We remind you of how you used to be. That brash young man whom you’re only suppressing in your older age. You’re chasing your younger self in me, and I clearly have daddy issues, always traveling around with much older men. So it works out well for us both, doesn’t it?”

“Stop this…Kk…” he couldn’t bring himself to say the entity’s name while he still looked like Vash.

Then the feminine form before him began unbuttoning her blouse. Why did she have to be wearing that same professional dark grey dress she’d donned for her last visit? “Poor captain,” began that lilt again, “You can’t see what’s staring you right in the face. Even she understood…’amoral, irresponsible and not to be trusted…’ It’s a shame your species needs to categorize based on gender, race and other such nonsense. It often blinds you to glaring commonalities such as personality traits.”

‘Where is she?” Picard demanded, and the creature sighed, clearly frustrated.

“Your time to play the hero is over, Jean-Luc,” still looking like the archaeologist, fingers pausing on the final button of the blouse, “She’s been getting away with too much for too long, using those wiles of hers.”

“If any harm has…”

“Hush, dear,” the impression of Vash cooed coolly, “Precious Vash is fine. She needs to learn a lesson, but anything more would be breaking my oath to you – and tampering too much, according to the others. Unlike Iago, I don’t wish her dead. But she’s out of the way for now…and if you ask me, my captain, I did you a favor. I can now testify personally that she’s quite the distraction. In the end though, further engagement would likely be futile...given her stronger proclivities for women. Wouldn’t want her meddling in your duties on the Enterprise just to quench that greed of hers .”

'Testify personally'. Picard resisted the urge to retch. And proclivities for women? More baiting, surely. “You are a child. You are a selfish _brat_ , and I could care less about any threats you pose to me personally. I cared for Vash, yes…but she does not stand between my crew and myself – and neither do you.”

The being that looked like Vash seemed about to retort when a sudden bright flash swept the room, leaving the captain alone moments later.

 

Q’s consciousness sensed the Network speaking to him even in the nanoseconds before his essence rejoined with the Continuum. They were angry. Impersonation of a currently living life form was highly frowned upon. Moreover, he had interfered and delivered the human to the Miridon, rather than letting them use their gradually advancing tracking technology to locate her themselves. It was not proper form to speed along such events.

Not proper at all…

 

The first aspect of Yatra prison that terrified Vash was the co-ed environment. Unlike prisons on earth, this one mingled genders as well as species. Was this what her brother Kenn had been dealing with for the past several years?

Oh who cares, she decided. He'd always been their mother's favorite anyway. He could stand a little misfortune, and her mother still always dote on him.

And now she was behind bars. Without even the aid of the Translator. Q truly was a bastard of immeasurable proportions…

As the prison matron – apparently a Ferengi female – led her to her bunk with a blanket, Vash kept her gaze averted and her head down as the prisoners of various species either stared or outright hissed at her. Many of the species she had never even read about before. She didn’t see any other humans - yet another reminder that she was indeed the first of her kind to visit this quadrant.

Her uniform was a deep purple, like Miridon flesh, and itched horribly.

“Here,” the Ferengi gestured to a small lone bunk in the corner of the long corridor and Vash dropped her blanket on the thin mattress. “Now come, you will go to work.”

Even without the aid of a Translator, she actually managed decent English.

“What’s your name?” Vash asked, attempting at least a hint of friendliness.

“Inad,” quipped the Ferengi as they made their way to the opposite corner of the large open area at the end of the corridor.

There were a group of inmates – primarily other Ferengi – huddled around a line of beds – no, cribs. Babies?

“What is this?” Vash asked, astounded.

“What it looks like?” a Ferengi male asked, his accent even thicker than Inad's. “We have child duty.”

“The women inmates give birth at Yatra,” Inad explained, swaddling a baby herself, “We help care for them while the mothers tend their duties, until they are granted freedom.”

 

Vash swallowed. After spending time around Sovak, she’d never really considered the idea of a female Ferengi – let alone a male holding an infant. So she’d be taking care of babies…seemed the universe truly did know how to hit home.

 

Later that evening – or at least she supposed, as time was difficult to gage here at the prison base, Vash decided to simply keep her head down and take one day at a time. She’d figure a way out of this. Until then, best to lay low and play long.

_Stay alive._

“Good night!” whispered the Ocampa girl sleeping above her. She was an odd little thing. Like a pixie with cropped, shaggy brown hair and cheery eyes. “You come from Earth?”

Vash was taken aback before realizing that perhaps the girl had meant to say ‘good evening’, seeing as she now seemed to want to converse.

“Yes,” she stated simply before laying down and turning over, pulling her blanket around herself.

The Ocampa didn’t take the hint. “I’m Dal, I work in the kitchen here. What is your name?”

“Vash,” best keep it to one-word answers.

“Did you really steal the Crown of the First Mother?”

Vash blanched in the darkness, praying that no Miridon guards were near who might feel extra snippy about her conviction.

“Rumors,” she interjected quickly. “I was smuggling…currency for my brother. We crossed quadrant borders we shouldn’t have. It’ll all get sorted.”

Dal gasped. “I am here because of family too. Uncle smuggled me away two years ago. We managed to escape the Caretakers with some help…but were caught in forbidden territory and taken here. We did not really have a destination, so…”

“Caretakers?” Vash was intrigued.

“Yes. Our gods.”

Sentient gods. Alien species worshipped as deities. That didn’t sound too unfamiliar, Vash realized bitterly. “Why were you running? Were these Caretakers cruel?”

“No,” Dal stated simply, now a little above a whisper. “Uncle just knew they were holding us back. My people only live for nine Earth years. There is so much to see. We could not stay on our homeworld forever.”

Nine years.

Eventually, Dal tired of questions and fell asleep, allowing Vash to fall into an uneasy slumber as well. She was simply exhausted and her body had begun to ache.

Next morning, Vash realized the muscle pains were likely from some minor pathogen, rather than just tired feet. Inad escorted her to the tiny prison sickbay, where a glowering Miridon nurse administered an exam and deemed her free of any drug, therefore ruling out withdrawal. To the nurse's puzzlement, the human also showed no biological signs of infection - only a simple electrolyte imbalance - and was thus permitted to return to work after receiving a hypo. Still, caring for babies while ill at Yatra required much the same precautions as on Earth – a face mask.

Daycare wasn't too taxing. The babies mostly napped and when they cried, rocking them usually did the trick. Vash found the various species interesting. She hadn't spent too much time around children before and never cared to. Still, their utter helplessness was unnerving and somehow touching. They were untainted by life and couldn't yet do any harm to anyone...

Vash idly got to know Inad and the other male Ferengi, Satt, whom she’d met the day before. He had the already bothersome habit of calling her by the nickname 'Starfleet', because apparently all humans were somehow involved with Starfleet or so said the stereotype among the Ferengi...

They seemed like they wanted to be patient with her, even as her balance grew continually worse throughout the day. The sloppy, unidentifiable food only made her nauseated and hunger added to her weak state. Eventually, when she nearly tripped over her own feet setting a baby down for the evening, Inad demanded Vash turn in early.

“Keep the mask on you,” Inad instructed as they returned to the sleeping area, “A new inmate joins us tonight.”

Vash thanked the stars for the cool metal of the bunk post as she leaned her forehead against the pole to calm her spinning head. The temperature change caused an almost instant chill to shoot down her spine as her teeth began to chatter lightly.

Was she getting worse?

Removing her mask, Vash settled down slowly onto her mattress, unaware if Dal had returned yet. It was nearly all dark save for the faint starlight shining in from the high windows, and Vash wanted nothing more than to pass out. This was beginning to feel like that fatal insect bite she'd gotten back on Erabus Prime. And now she was stuck in here with no idea of how long her sentence would last or if she would even live that long.

“My, my,” came a familiar lilt from before her, “You look positively dreadful.”

Vash hardly needed to see in the dark or think sensibly despite her lightheadedness to recognize that voice. 

Forgetting her surroundings in favor of shocked horror, Vash gazed up into the green smolder and let out a shrill scream.


	4. Qompromise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical inspiration: "A Wonderful Thing" by Richard Wells

Fortunately, most of the inmates were still at work and the sleeping area was empty enough for Vash’s alarm not to rouse too much suspicion. Yet that still didn’t stop Q from clamping a hand over the human’s mouth.

“You can’t go around screaming, lovely,” warned that husky voice in a low tone.

Vash was livid. Without another thought, she nipped at the palm over her mouth.

Q drew back with a hiss. 

“Right,” Vash scoffed, “As if that really hurt you.”

“As a matter of fact…” Q held out the offended palm and Vash’s eyes widened at the trickle of blood she could make out in the faint light.

…

“You’re…you’re bleeding…are you…”

“Human again,” Q finished for her, “Indeed.”

“But how come you’re a woman again?”

Q chucked quietly. “Flattered that you’ve taken enough notice to realize this isn’t my preferred form, particularly when most of you humanoids hold males to a higher regard. Now...a female, human prisoner. Another way that Continuum has seen fit to spite me.”

“Well, well,” droned a raspy voice as Satt stepped out from behind Q. “What have we here?”

The Ferengi shone his laser flashlight in Q’s eyes, forcing him – her – to avert her gaze. “Stop that, small creature.”

In fact, Satt was about the same size as Q’s current form. Vash had to grin, despite her reeling vision and sat down again on the flat mattress behind her. 

Satt continued with a leer, “Another human? And I thought this one was attractive,” he spared Vash a glance, then refocused his gaze on Q “You are something else entirely.”

Even in the shadows, the revulsion was plain on Q’s face.

Vash was torn between mirth and exasperation at the slight quip from Satt. “Come on! He-she…that’s not even what he really looks like!”

“He?” Satt was confused. 

“Don’t concern yourself, dear,” Q spat in Vash’s direction. “I’m not staying in your corner. Though you do look worse for the wear. If it becomes too much, do come and find me. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve. The corner by the dining area.”

With that, Q sauntered off just as Dal returned to their corner. Satt chose then to make himself scarce as well and Vash collapsed on her back with a groan. She just had to avoid him. Q could not hurt her – not like this. 

Unfortunately, she realized…that also meant he couldn’t rescue her from this hellhole either. 

Vash tossed and turned. She felt feverish and her mind wouldn’t stop racing. She was trapped in prison with Q – a human Q, but it was still him. How could she even truly trust that he was mortal? Moreover, had he ever used that stunning female while visiting Picard?

Suddenly feeling claustrophobic, Vash closed her eyes and focused not to hyperventilate. During her travels with the entity, he’d always dropped her off wherever she’d wanted to go, only checking in every now and then to see how she was getting on. Even while traveling with Professor Estragon, they'd always been on the go. In theory, Vash had had the entire universe to run off to and now she was confined to a single compound. Confined to one place with downtime to think about what exactly her life had come to. Jean-Luc had reminded her of the professor in many ways...she needed to see him again. Perhaps not for romance, but simply to feel grounded. 

Then again, she finally confessed to herself...perhaps this had always been her greatest fear – the inability to move around as she pleased, regardless of whose company she kept. 

At the back of her mind, Vash consoled herself with the fact that she'd finally discovered the Atta crystal - the Professor's second most sought-after relic, second only to the Tox Uthat. That orb had definitely made the fiasco on Erraking VII worth the hassle. Now she only hoped Q could restore it once all this was over. If it ever ended, that was. How naked she felt without her travel bag...

 

The next morning saw no improvement. Vash struggled to work, but was soon shooed off to her bed again. Before departing, she overheard Satt talking about how the ‘new inmate with the eyes like a quasar’ was working in weapon repair. Figures, thought Vash. He got the one assignment she would have killed for in this place. 

To her surprise, Q never approached her. They exchanged a quick glance in the small mess hall, but he made no move to come over as she ate a quick meal with Dal and made a dash for her bunk, fighting back a sudden wave of vertigo. 

Sprinting had been a mistake, as it turned out. The moment she reached the corner she shared with Dal, Vash had just enough time to tear off her mask before her supper reemerged all over the floor. 

No sooner had she realized what had happened, Inad's voice erupted from behind her. 

"Foolish girl - clean up after yourself now! And stay here, away from the everyone." With that, she strode away back toward the dining area. Not as though anyone had asked her to escort the sick human.

Damn it.

Turning to the mess at hand and breathing deeply, Vash retrieved a spare towel from the bunk post and wiped up the mess, then disposed of the cloth in the waste shoot on the wall nearby. Lucky that Dal hadn’t yet returned from the mess hall to witness all that.

So apparently, she was dangerously ill and only growing worse. And Q seemed to either know why or at least some way to help her. 

Pursing her lips, Vash felt her survival instinct kick in. She had to go see that omnipotent pain-in-the-ass – if only to live through another week. 

Vash absolutely despised feeling weak. Swallowing the lump in her throat, the archaeologist approached the bunk corner by the mess hall as quietly as possible. She suddenly hoped with all her being that Q hadn’t seen her dart by earlier.

Glancing around, Vash’s gaze soon rested on the cinnamon-skinned female sitting up in the nearest lower bunk, reading a book. 

Clearing her throat as subtly as possible, Vash was silently praising the fact that they were alone. 

The pale emerald eyes flicked up. “You came.”

No gloat? Seriously?

“What’s happening to me?” was all Vash could manage through her humiliation and frustration. 

“I must…apologize.” That word seemed as difficult for Q to utter as anyone could expect, “I’d no idea this would come as a result of what transpired.”

“The traveling? Is this from that insect bite?” Vash was lost.

“No, no, you’re quite clear of that,” Q assured, “I mean on Risa, right before you were caught and brought here.”

 _Or before you sold me out_ , Vash thought bitterly. “So you did this to me?”

“Not intentionally,” replied Q, “When we…became intimate, there was an exchange of energy. Atoms, if you will. Humans, like most species in this galaxy, are matter-based organisms. Your atoms are unaccustomed to interaction with such a high level of energy and so their charge has been greatly diminished, resulting in a severe electrolyte imbalance at the molecular level.”

“Wonderful,” Vash’s head was starting to spin again. “And you’d no idea this would happen?”

“I don’t make a habit of participating in physical intimacy, especially with mortals.” 

Vash wondered if Q expected her to be flattered. Right. “How do we fix it?”

“Come here,” the entity beckoned, setting aside the book.

Vash sighed and walked over to the bunk as slowly as possible, reclining beside Q who lay down and spooned her. Vash was relieved the creature didn’t do anything beyond stroking her hair lightly. When the woman behind her shivered, the human was intrigued.

“What’s the matter with you?”

“Oh you know, mortality forced upon me once again, terribly uncomfortable uniforms, cleansing stalls with no privacy…that Ferengi trying to rub his ears against me in said cleansing area.”

“We call those washrooms. Must be strange not being able to wish yourself clean for once.” Vash had a hard time imagining Q being so vulnerable, especially when the entity was so often invading everyone's personal space. Moreover, having Satt try and force Oomox on him must have been fairly disturbing. At least those few times with Sovak had been entirely of her own volition, in order to distract the Ferengi from catching on to whichever maneuver she was making at the time. 

Q tried not to imagine what she’d want to know that for. Not to mention the slight insult at having revealed a very humiliating experience which the human seemed to brush off as nothing. “Just relax, Vash.”

Gradually, the light pleasure of Q’s fingers stroking her hair transformed into a rich euphoria filling her entire body, from her toes to the individual hair follicles all over her body. 

Vash suddenly felt the need to distract herself with some normalcy and settled on conversation. “So…why are they angry with you?”

“That's none of your concern,” Q retorted defensively, though the pleasant feeling did not cease as Vash's energy levels continued to balance out. The human remained oblivious to the tears that now glistened in the entity's eyes, “It does not affect you in any way.”

“I see,” Vash croaked. Even in the absence of that Risian seaside atmosphere, she was beginning to feel the stirrings of what had made her jump the entity's bones before - much to her embarrassment...

She wanted to kick herself when her back arched involuntarily back against Q. To her surprised, she felt Q's torso pull back slightly. 

Vash scoffed. "What, finished experimenting with humans?" 

Silence. Q didn't close the gap between their bodies. God, he was _strange_.

_Focus._

“So…how are you doing this now? Without your powers?”

“My essence is still my essence.” Q replied, as if that explained everything. 

Vash chewed on that. Humming in time with the tingle of the energy thrumming through her, she decided to take this opportunity to heed her curiosity. "So how did you do it, anyway...that medeival re-enactment?"

She felt Q chuckle behind her. "To put it in terms you can comprehend...we exist outside of your dimension and your timeline. Outside of your entire universe, in fact. Ours came first. So we've been watching yours evolve and expand for billennia. When I recreate scenarios, it's not an illusion as your holodecks create. I am inputting you into a certain point in the timeline of your universe. Think of it like mapping a solar system on a screen and pinpointing which specific planets you want a maximized view of, only each planet is a different point in time. In that particular case, Sherwood Forest was a real place and Sir Guy of Gisbourne was a real person, as was Robin Hood. When your captain killed Sir Guy, it offset the ruckus that made the real Robin Hood a wanted man in the first place. Not that the actual Robin hadn't taken many lives himself, mind you."

Vash had to marvel at the gall of this creature. “And…when do you get your powers back?”

Q seemed to stiffen against her back. “That is contingent on you getting out of here. Your sentence is for life – short of them killing you, they’ve settled on life imprisonment – I can set you free and wipe their memories of ever capturing you. I only have power enough to do just that.”

“To erase their memories and get me out of here?”

"Yes."

“So…”

Q tensed again. “Do you honestly think I’ll let you go that easily? You’ve barely been in here a week.”

“And this is all because I didn’t want to travel with you anymore?” Vash’s temper was starting to return now that Q’s energy was strengthening her. Even so, she couldn’t bring herself to verbalize their spat over Jean-Luc. 

“You had no complaints when I took you all over the galaxy,” Q shot back, “Besides, you’ve done plenty of wrong that has nothing to do with me. Though at least you don't hide your deceitful ways behind a stuffy facade...unlike our friend, the captain.”

Pointedly ignoring the topic of Jean-Luc, Vash retorted indignantly, "I want things back the way they were. Figuring it out on my own without an overbearing tour guide. Honestly, you're always getting in people's faces."

Q scoffed, tugging softly on a strand of Vash's hair. "You try coming from a networked species who regularly communicate every nanosecond at lightspeed using only telepathic energy and convert that into the verbal speech and fabricated physical bubbles that humans construct for themselves."

Every nanosecond? No wonder Q spent such ample time away from his people. Talk about having no space...

Never short of awestruck at the concept of the Q, Vash had to bite her tongue to inquire for further details. Best to stick to the situation at hand. Suddenly an idea struck her. “Q, can you retrieve the Crown of the First Mother?”

A pause. “I’m listening.”

“It’s still around, I’m sure no one destroyed it.”

“I could retrieve it in an instant, if I had my powers.”

“It’s settled then. You win there. It was morally wrong of me to steal an ancient cultural artifact. So get me out of here and then take it back. Take it back on my order and deliver it to the Miridon government.”

The last of Q’s energy suffused into Vash as the human turned to face her former companion. Even if he couldn't be bothered to care about such mortal affairs of his own accord, at least Vash was finally conceding her own wrongdoing. 

“Your addiction to the thrill of danger has always been intriguing,” mused Q, “I suppose that’s the driving force behind your petty obsession with profit.”

Vash’s eyes brightened, followed by the high-pitched alarm signaling the end of mealtime. They had to leave. She somehow doubted that Inad or even Dal would miss her very much. She considered the fact that Dal would likely spend the rest of her days in here. And yet, it was likely safer than life under those Caretakers. No time for hesitation. Vash would be the only one to leave here. “Please, Q?”

That emerald gaze sparkled in the shadows. “Your wish is my command.” 

With a flash, the bunk was empty.


	5. RelinQuish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical inspiration: "Gravity" by Steven Price

As it turned out, the Crown of the First Mother was safe and sound at a Cardassian museum – until Vash and a now male Q whisked it away.

For a brief moment, Vash was content to simply have her bag back with all her trinkets safe and sound. She now had the Atta crystal and could easily make a fortune off it to support herself for years. And Q? She couldn't really see herself comfortably keeping him around anymore. His arrogance and pedantic nature were aggravating enough and even if she could brush off his infatuation with Jean-Luc as a weakness just like any other life form could fall victim to - herself included - it was still too close to home and the creature _had_ violated her person. Bot physically of course, but in a way she'd never experienced and ever cared to again. 

Blanching at the thought of being caught alone again with Q and the cloud of trouble that seemed to follow him, Vash was immensely relieved when a cargo ship docked on Miridon. She didn’t care where in the Gamma quadrant the ship was headed, as long as she could get away. Q's sick fixation on her one-time lover was almost worse than the tendency of various species to recognize him, thus cramping her style in guilt by association. Even if she could somehow manage to carry out deals without him turning all potential buyers against her, Vash refused to live in fear of another perverse mind probe.

As luck would have it, Q had made her invisible to everyone around them, so her freedom wouldn’t arouse anger or suspicion. After all, even with the Crown returned, she was still wanted for her initial theft of the relic. Gazing cautiously at Q who was now receiving gushing gratitude from the Miridon official to whom he’d presented the Crown, Vash crept away with her bag over her shoulder, just like the old days. No more having him provide her with clothes and no more itchy prison uniform. Everything would soon return to normal.

Hoping beyond hope that Q wasn’t truly omniscient enough to track her down once she was gone, she crept as quietly as possible into the crawl space toward the back of the cargo ship. Just before bending to step inside, Vash caught a last glimpse of her own reflection, the first since long before her stay in Yatra. Her hair…now had a tight wave to it. No doubt a side effect of the energy meld with Q. It wasn’t a bad look. 

 

Once he’d realized she was gone, Q had tracked her down soon enough on Deep Space Nine…of course, another Starfleet vessel. Looking for Jean-Luc, no doubt. Yet, after all that, it seemed she truly didn’t desire him in her life anymore. Moreover, the entire Enterprise acted as though he were a fly to be swatted at. Even that other Q Amanda, raised by humans, viewed him as an overbearing menace. What was it with the human insistence on casting him off?

He tried desperately to explain to Vash – in his own muted way – what having her as his mortal companion meant. Of course, he’d have preferred the Captain, but her fascination with the sights he’d shown her had proven quite thrilling to him. 

Although she admitted to having been impressed, he still didn’t want to let go. That creeping panic that accompanied eternal boredom would resurface and he’d be right back where he started, leaving him more needy than ever. Coupled with the weakness – however temporary – he’d experienced as a mortal female in a _mortal_ prison, the returning despair threatened to overwhelm him. 

He knew where he must visit next.

 

Jean-Luc Picard had just returned to his quarters after a relaxing hike sequence at the holodeck. Following a warm shower, he shut off the water and slid open the glass door before grabbing his towel in earnest.

There stood Q. In his quarters again, invading his space once more. But at least he was back to looking like himself.

“Jean-Luc,” Q stated as if materializing in someone’s washroom were a most typical occurrence. Indeed, he'd considered returning to his female form to see what kind of reaction it might evoke in the captain. Though by now, he quite felt like being honest with both himself and Picard - and he felt most honest as a male while in humanoid form. He shouldn't have to resort to appearing as Vash or any other life form that he didn't feel best represented his personality.

“Q, get out _now_ ,” Picard had to resist the urge to growl his words.

“Please, I…” was he pleading now? Q realized his desperation must be truly great. “I just want to explain.”

Silence.

“Vash and I have parted ways. She is safe,” Q continued as soon as the captain went to open his mouth. 

Jean-Luc’s eyes narrowed.

Q went on slowly, “I persuaded her to return an artifact she had stolen. We returned it together to the people who hold it sacred.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Picard’s voice had softened a bit.

“You…were right, Jean-Luc,” Q averted his gaze a bit before his dark eyes flitted up to the captain’s once again. “I’ve been using your ship, your crew – the most impressive humanity has to offer – as a diversion. Vash, too, was simply a diversion...second best to you. You truly do interest me beyond the others. Your mission out here, your endless thirst for knowledge and adventure…and your relentless refusal to revere that which you do not understand.”

“Q, what…”

“But tell me,” Q approached Picard gently and took this hands so that the towel began to slip. “Tell me you were never the least bit intrigued. Not on the shuttlecraft? Tell me the reason you weren’t truly jealous when Vash left with me, because you knew she held no intrinsic appeal for me – that no human has…until you. That during my time as a mortal here on the Enterprise and afterward…”

Afterward?

“That I keep on coming back to you…of all the species of all the systems of all the galaxies…because the way you make me feel both terrifies and exhilarates me all at once?”

“Then why do you play these games? Impersonating someone we both know to debate matters of Shakespeare and love. Why never state anything straight…”

Jean-Luc was silenced with a crushing kiss from the entity before him – the only action that humans could use to convey instantly how they felt, that would likely otherwise take a year of explanation. 

“I choose this form of expression, because I know it is a method you humans understand…and also because I will always have the ability to take it away. So go on. Do your worst. Because I truly have seen, heard and learned it all but I haven’t felt it all. You tell me straight out that you despise me and I will leave and never return.”

Q braced himself. He’d never before been shot down following such a confession, because well – he’d never truly made such a confession.

"Q, if this is another trick--"

"What shall I say to convince you? Better yet, what shall I reveal? That humanity might very well be the first species in this universe to ascend to the level of the Q Continuum? That the first step to achieving this level of existence is by embracing technology that enables you to relinquish your physical form and adopt the cosmic energy and matter itself - both normal and dark - as your sustenance? To create an entire society upon this existence? A society which has the ability to download all acquired knowledge onto a shared network of all entities involved? No more need to eat, sleep or even speak...to renounce the petty need to categorize by gender or race...to have the very universe - and quite possibly future verses - at your fingertips."

Captain Picard licked his lips and drew a breath. His fascination with what he was hearing was reaching the level of anxiety. "And how do you know this?"

Q's reply was barely audible. "It's happened before."

Now Jean-Luc was almost wasn't certain he was on the brink of a monumental revelation for mankind - and yet he didn't know if he was ready to know the truth. In that instant, Q realized that he'd said far too much.

“Q,” he began levelly, “I admit, you do intrigue me. You always have. Your people always have. I also appreciated your seeing the error of your species’ consideration in assassinating Amanda Rogers. Yet I do not know what it is you desire from me. You are not mortal, and do not - _cannot_ love as my people do. However, assuming that you are being honest, as I again admit that despite all of the chaos you provoke, you have never truly lied to me…I give my gratitude for your openness. That is all I can give to you. My gratitude.”

Q’s mahogany gaze had a glazed look, as if he were seeing past Jean-Luc while also staring him straight in the eyes. For the first time, Q had given this human the opportunity to order him away for good...and for the first time, the captain had refrained from doing just that. 

_“Merci, mon Capitaine, for your honesty_ ,” the entity uttered in Jean-Luc's mind with a slight smile. _"See you out there."_

From one blink to the next, Q vanished.

 

That night, Captain Jean-Luc Picard settled into bed just as at the end of any other day – save for the fact that the very existence of the human archaeologist Vash as well as the confession and kiss from the omnipotent alien being Q were eradicated without a trace from his memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While the kiss and accompanying emotional confession are touching and all, the second confession is a personal take on what Q was about to whisper to Picard in the TNG series finale "All Good Things". Perhaps in the end, he figured that Picard's resolve to figure it out for himself would give Q an excuse to keep coming back. xD

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone else feel that Q's arrogance was a bit of a weak reason for Vash to have given up the opportunity to explore the entire universe?
> 
> Vash's preferences originated from a head canon I came away with upon observing her interactions with men. When flirting or even being physical, it always seemed driven primarily by some ulterior motive. Even after her brief fling with Jean-Luc, she just seemed like she'd have better chemistry with women. 
> 
> Ideas are welcome and encouraged! :)


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